Solitude vs Companionship !

Crawford Place  Newbury, United Kingdom    25 May 2010     11:36 PM     Tuesday


So, back to UK. And back to the comfort zone after a month outside in a world of seclusion. A month full of supreme challenges,  much anticipated solitude and some remarkable learning experience, all of which i savored quite a lot !

Sometimes, living alone can teach you a lot because you get the opportunity to know the best of yourself - in and out ! You have all the time in the world to think and assess the circumstances around yourself. You get to know those aspects about yourself which we fail to perceive otherwise in this busy social world! Aspects about your personality, your demeanor, your insight, and your repute. And may be even more !!! You not only get that opportunity to monitor those, but also to appropriately fix those. 

You think about your family, friends, office mates and your prevailing relations with them. You think about the present situations, compare them with your past, and fancy the best possible dreams for your future. You also think about the direction of your life against your priorities and ambitions. But the best thing that i love about being alone is - you are just yourself ! Free from the directives of the outside world, you live on the self defined rules and principles. You do what you want to do in the way you want to do !!! What you've been longing for years to do.  No more fake lifestyle, nasty pretenses and nebulous arguments living with others ! You just live your life the way you've always wished to. Though doesn't necessarily means that you'll become happy or content, but atleast you lose the right to blame others for the disruptions in your life, and in your life style !

But solitude can make you lose even more... 

You lose the platform to redesign your personality and temperament with the great learning experiences living together with others. To learn to compromise, share, and NOT to share ! You miss out in making enduring companionship with someone who can eventually impact the rest of your life by redefining your priorities, sentiments and ambitions, who can well be your only best friend. You also miss all the fun and excitement of warmhearted banter and friendly quips when you are having your meals in your secluded room. Those incessantly engrossing heart-to-heart with them which make you realize that there are people who are with you no matter what happens, or when it happens...there are people who love your lifestyle, no matter how repelling or monotonous it may look like, there are people who wish to counsel you whenever you are down, ... and there are people who want to see you - just being yourself !!!

We go through each of these two phases, but not everyone gets the best of them... We might be alone for some time, yet unable to improvise. We might be living with the best of our mates, yet unable to unify. But now that i am back to my social web, i wish to relive the best moments of the camaraderie of my alien life !

Ta

Gaurav Gupta

Dare to dream different !

Place de la Renaissance  Bois Colombes, Paris    15 May 2010     01:06 AM     Saturday

It happens. And that too automatically. Quite a lot of times, you get that drive running with your adrenaline rush when you are stuck deep in an ineluctable shit. A stimulation to prove that you can get over it surely if not shortly, and that it is not the end of the world ! Somehow or other, you get to see that feeble light of hope at the end of the tunnel. You just need to wait, watch and then act. Smartly, cautiously and confidently !!!

Yeah, this nostalgic wave struck me today this evening while i was having some informal and cosy chat with one of my mates in his apartment. We both went too far in our discussions realising a few bitter aspects of our lives which we both had wished to govern, but just couldn't decently control in time. And we concluded the following:

A teacher teaches the lesson first and then takes the exam. Life takes the exam first and then teaches a lesson.... So, always keep learning !

 

Thinking about these troubles remind me of my early fresher college days, ten years back. Our college had been pretty consistent and active in all the possible ragging activities. Back then, going back to the hostel rooms from the college in the evenings wasn't an easy task for us. It used to be the longest and most dreadful walk in front of the "Laxmi Bhawan" (abode of all those reckless seniors) when we always preferred to stay in the bunch, each trying to hide behind the other, everyone consciously trying to dodge those big and brutish eagle-eyes eagerly waiting to feed their latest puckish desires to wreak havoc on us. But not all of us were getting used to this, and neither all of us were going to accept this.

A few dared to break this bunch and walked in to their eyes dauntlessly. They did what they were asked to do but with pride and joy, enjoying their orders and dictates rather than swearing them, leaving all their fear and anger behind. This is what i like about those people who dare not only to dream differently, but also to Act differently. Nobody could have changed the situation. But they did manage to change their environment.

An environment free from any fear, disgust and contempt. While rest of the guys chose to avoid or avert the inevitable, they decided to chase it themselves. And they were rewarded. They got the biggest contacts within the alumnus, got extraordinary exposure to the college's political and administrative environment in the very beginning, had their first hands over the most crucial and confidential leaks, and not to mention getting a permanent godfather for sponsoring their suttas, daru, parties and even boastful power. And most importantly, they had that coveted confidence and authority in abundance. And few leaders were straightway born !!!

Such is the power of responding proactively to the situations and opportunities around your life ! But such is amount of positive attitude, vitality and audacity in turn that you would require !!! Ha !!! Past, Memories, lessons, so much to think of !

Coming back to present, coming back to our evening discussions,  and coming back to him, I shall only say the following:

The moment has come, of killing the past and coming back to life...

Ta

Gaurav Gupta

Appraisal Time

Place de la Renaissance  Bois Colombes, Paris    04 May 2010     09:20 PM     Tuesday

 

It's performance appraisal time. It's the time when we apprehensively wait for a communication from our managers, who we normally desire to ignore rest of the whole year. But now, we all wait for that special moment to see that special e-mail in our inbox for which we toil all year long. All kinds of rumours and gossips spread like wild fire but burn out quickly. Lunch, tea and snack breaks are used to their utmost potential by chatting incessantly about all sorts of things - promotions, salary hikes, ratings, politics, managers, work culture, etc. Some querulous individuals don't miss out this opportunity to start whining over their luck :

" Yaar meri to kismat hi kharab hai, is baar to promotion pakki thi, aur saala isi baar recession aa gaya ! "
 

" Nai yaar, meri to recommendation 6 maheene pehle hi chali gai thi (as if he himself forwarded his recommendation), but last moment mein project change ki wajah se kat gaya mera ! "

Some guys who are desperately expecting the role enhancement, but are low in confidence, would intentionally embark this conversation to get the desired assurance and confidence from the listeners in this way:

" Jo bhi ho yaar lekin, kisi aur ki ho na ho (yeah he's pointing to himself, poor him), is baar Nayar ki pakki hogi ! " , hoping in his heart that the others would counter argue by saying :

" Are nahi yaar, tere bhi poore chances hain. Agar Nayar ki hui, to teri to usse pehle hogi " - and he's relaxed big time, as if he's already got the promotion letter. Yeah, it really feels good if people around you keep assuring that you are the one, a definite one this year... And you need to get this assurance again and again and that too quite often.

The ones who are least active in this conversation have been either recently promoted, recently joined or recently resigned. But nevertheless, they love it. Everyone loves it. After all, this can either stimulate or sedate your complacency towards your career growth. You look at your peers, your supervisors and even your subordinates. And you rightly so, because you get the opportunity to paint this career graph on a canvas called life against age, experience and money. Everyone gets distinct graphs with different shapes, and everyone takes it differently. It's a matter of pride and joy for many, whereas sorrow and disgust for the rest. But then, you can always paint it better the next year. You always have that power. That luck !

And so may you get the best of that luck this year. And so do I :)

Ta

Gaurav Gupta